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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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