ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize