I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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