the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
