you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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