like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
