So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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