Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
