It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Shame - the story of my life.
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