so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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