The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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