Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize