I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
