what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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