Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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