i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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