You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
