Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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