So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
