She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
