you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
