I've blown a few things in my day
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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