I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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