When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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