so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
