i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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