i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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