i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
