"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am available for nakedness
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
