I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
