Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
