Your face is a jimmy john
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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