My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
