I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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