why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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