I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Randomize
