well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
