well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
