I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
