no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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