she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize