he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
