You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize