just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
