Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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