Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
