Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
