Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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