I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
