ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
