How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
how drunk are you?
Several
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
