a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
