Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
