I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
