Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
