Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
