this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
