so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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