CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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