that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize