I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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