How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
